How much crap is too much for Jesus?

One of my favorite authors has disappointed me.
She’s a writer of real things and real feelings and real people – messy people, messy feelings. With Jesus included in the mix.
So, what gives. Why am I disappointed?
In the book I’m reading now, the people are TOO messy.
Its not that they were messy, and now they’re better.
Its that they are still sitting in the muck -- filthy.

I can’t handle it. I want Jesus to clean up all the grime and leave them squeaky clean and crowing about it.

Here’s the deal – I can handle messy people pre-Jesus, they’re fun and genuine and not pretentious. I can even handle and enjoy the messiness as part of the process of coming to know Jesus. The thing I can’t handle is the people who know Jesus and in some sense pursue Jesus and still live in the muck.

So here's the book, with it's messy people. When I say "messy" - its egregious – adultery…big stuff. Its not the oops-I didn’t really know it was a sin-and it just happened once-and now I’m contrite variety of sin.
I would say that the lack of contrition is the hang up for me. But, it's not. The protagonist is aware of the things she doesn’t want to do, and the things that she’s asking Jesus to help her not do. In a sense there is contrition and a real sense of loss at the ways her life is not as it “should” be – even “should” in her own worldview. But after asking Jesus for help, she still does those things!

This says a lot about me – this disquiet at my quick-read novel by my favorite author.
I know its personal about my belief about lost, saved, and where Jesus is in all of it.

My increased pulse as I wrote “she still does those things!” gives me a clue on where my feelings are wrapped up in this. I think part of the deal is really not the presence of sin, or absence of contrition. Its the utter weakness of the character. I want her to step up. Pull herself up by her bootstraps and QUIT SINNING. Take charge and clean up a life.

Oohhhh…..

Pretty sure that Jesus said that apart from Him we can do nothing. I translate that as we don’t have the strength to quit sinning.
Pretty sure that Jesus said that none of us is righteous.

Oohhhh….

I’ve known for a while that this is my deal – that I continually come back to Jesus utterly crapped-out after realizing that I was trying to put myself together and make myself presentable and keep myself cleaned-up from the muck of life. (“Thanks, Jesus, glad you came to save the world, but I really want to be “sin-free” before I grace you with my presence.”)

I don’t know that its ever been so clear that what I really want for other people is that they emulate my own sin. – That they would try to save themselves and purify themselves without Jesus. That they clean up and “buck up” and get it right. How horrific – totally denies why we need Jesus around.

Okay, maybe I’m not so disappointed with my author.
(And, of course, a part of me is screaming – but these people better “straighten up and fly right” before the end of this novel”!)
What an interesting book….what an intriguing God.

And, its not lost on me that the "egregious" sin that I point out is adultery. While an even more disturbing sin of the character is her serial-selfishness. That one is too close to home to highlight.